39 takeaways from a THOUSAND-PAGE parenting book

Two years ago, I started reading Boundless Parenting shortly after hearing the heartbeat of what I now think of as my first son.

But we lost him in the seventh month due to a random cord incident. For a while, I said, "We lost the pregnancy," instead of, "I lost a child" -- maybe because I never saw his face. I stopped reading it, but nearly nine months ago, I picked it back up again, after discovering we had another one on the way. Becoming a new father is a page flip without equal to a new chapter of life, and I have a lot to learn, so finishing a thousand-page book on the topic seems smart!

When you’re a veteran sleephacker 💤 but your newborn beats the pants of your sleep scores WITHOUT magnesium, blue blockers, or binaural beats.

I suppose this is the first of a lot of parenting content that you can expect from me, but those of you who have followed me for a while know I didn't start offering marriage advice until after I'd remained happily married for at least half a decade. Similarly, as long as I lack experience in the parenting department, I'll try to keep my content around the topic grounded in the authoritative experiences of others or sound scientific research.

Storytime: The elasticity of the protective impulse at the playground

Lately, I've been doing light workouts a few times a week at this park near my flat in Sofia that has one of those basic free weatherproof gyms next to the playground where you can do an assortment of bodyweight exercises. And there are almost always kids and young people there - one thing that makes me confident about raising a family here in Bulgaria is that the culture is relatively healthy here. Like the other day, I saw four young dudes (they looked like teenagers) there working out, and get this, none of them had smartphones. They were just hanging out, outside, exercising. I freakin' love to see that!

The other day, this little girl climbed up on the monkey bars where someone had hung a rubber exercise band, and basically she wanted to put one foot in the exercise band and then bounce up and down (which I'm sure is fun!) But she was small enough that she could slip and fall off the monkey bars with one foot in the band and really hurt herself. Her mom or grandmother was sitting a ways away and didn't really seem to be paying attention to her. And I don't really want to touch some random little girl helping safely bounce up and down with this band, so I just told her in Bulgarian, "This is dangerous!" And then I let her do whatever she wanted.

Later, I reflected and said to myself, "That was kind of a proto-parenting moment, wasn't it?" I had a protective impulse when I saw the kid doing something risky, so I had to intervene; ultimately, all I could do was tell her, "This is dangerous." I figured, if she fell and hurt herself, then she'll remember that some random guy warned her, and if she managed to balance on the bouncy exercise band, then she gets the confident boost that she did something "dangerous!" Which is probably a good thing. I've got about two decades of situations with that dilemma ahead of me...

An important point on the economics of information consumption.

This book is $55 in hardcover and $20 on Kindle. Some of you may be shaking your heads at the fact that digital books (a freakin' file!) cost this much these days, and perhaps you're thinking: I'll just listen to Ben Greenfield's podcasts about parenting - those are free! Only if your time is next to worthless! When your favorite podcasters put out books, it actually makes a lot of sense to buy and read those books even if you can get that information for free from their show, because as they are a refined distillation of their knowledge (especially if said podcasters insert an insane amount of audience-time-wasting midroll ads into their podcasts - like Ben!)

This book is written by (not just) Ben Greenfield but also...

37 parents ranging from single divorcees to grandparents to celebrities to entrepreneurs to pastors to teachers to survivalists and beyond. In each chapter, Ben Greenfield interviews a unique parent or set of parents about the highly specific, practical and personal details of their parenting journey, including the way they educate, discipline, manage time, develop presence, love and ultimately raise amazing, self-actualized and flourishing children.

In this book review, I'll try to give credit to them individually for the wisdom I borrow here. I'll start with my biggest takeaway from the book...